Nothing is Safe

PUBLIC ALERT! It has been reported that there is a large male ginger currently breaking into houses on the Upper East Side. He last frequented midtown where he made himself at home and created chaos in several homes.

His MO is to let himself in and help himself into any foodstuffs left unattended. At one point he was seen exiting a condo carrying a recently barbecued tomahawk steak! Others have reported thefts of salmon, chicken and even eggs.

Occasionally he has been observed napping in comfy dog beds, having bullied the resident dog into submission. This desire for comfort is becoming more of a trend and is escalating. He has been discovered in bed with multiple people who woke to a loud purring in their ear.

The public is warned that this new behaviour is concerning as it appears that the suspect is looking for a more permanent hideout.

It should be noted that this feline is looking to exploit kind hearted people who may offer shelter, food and friendship. Be aware that this is a dangerous situation and is part of a global organization called the cat distribution system.

Once the feline fully infiltrates the home of the target, there is no longer an ability for intervention.

A further warning is this feline is not, I repeat, not, acting alone. Current reports are a tabby working Harlem and a calico stalking the Bronx!