Notes on S

you dragged me aroundyou told me to sitand stayuntil i was a good boyand i followed at your heel

you told mei know you're trying, but it's not good enoughnot knowing i had never had a panic attack before i met you,but i got better

you told mei want you to really be ready before you go back to schoolnot realizing you were the reason i dropped out,so i didn't even apply

you told methis apartment should be a home, let's make it a homethen you pushed me,you hit me,and i was the one who apologized

i'd tell you and you'd cryas if i was the one who'd barked or bittenas if it was my faultmy fault when i tried to leave and you wouldn't let meso i slapped you, and you,you with your six foot two frame,you, towering over me,you pushed me on the bed and hit me till i stopped fighting back.

as if it was my faultas i curled up in the cornerand told you i didn't know who you wereand you threatened to call the policebecause i'd abused you.

as if it was my fault when i left and you said, no--i'll never be ready to be your friendi don't want to be your friendplease don't contact me ever again

if you didn't even want to be my friendhow could you have ever wanted to be my lover?