Not That I Won't

It's not that I won't

It's that I can't

The words held below

Some hidden rant

Too deep to recall

Years' worth of masks

I want to bare all

But what a task

Given my record

Of shutting down

When I've been weathered

By my hometown

They took me to court

Affidavits

I could not retort

Thus, my habits

I was found guilty

Of all the lies

I told to save me

Suppressing cries

Internal schism

Got a sentence

To life in prism

Glass existence

Imposter syndrome

No thought is free

To make its home

Transparently

So my words all died

Suffocated

Too long left inside

Never stated

But make no mistake

I want no more

Than to somehow break

These chains I wore

My entire life

I hope to gain

Freedom from this strife

Peace from this pain

Of having no words

To share my soul

Since I'm a coward

Since long ago

So my honesty

You might ask for

Were it easy

I'd freely outpour

But these words alone

Now all I can chant

It's not that I won't

It's that I can't