Not How It's Meant To Be

This piece was written as part of a Breast Cancer Awareness Collaboration

Staring critically at my reflection

I can't help but wonder how things will change

My boobs are a great part of my body

Not having them will somehow be strange

The mirror shows them now perfect

How they sit where they are meant to be

Yet touch tells a different story

Reveals secrets I cannot see

My drawn in breath is ragged

As I think about crawling into bed to hide

But this change in my life won't go away

Not matter how I hope the doctor lied

An alert for my class reminds me

That uni and life still go on

I'm just not sure I can face it

Smiling and pretending I'm strong

This isn't what's meant to be happening

This diagnosis makes everything wrong

How I continue with classes and study

When it feels I no longer belong

It's in my genetics they tell me

As if I was blissfully unaware

My mother fought this fight before me

The lesson I learnt was cancer don't care

My hand on my window frame steadies me

My Mother's voice in my mind echoes strong

"You'll fight and you'll win", it uplifts me

"For your time in this world is not done."

FIN

Cancer is a bitch whatever form it takes, too many people in my life are no longer here because of it, still we continue to fight and work towards a cure... how good will that day be?