No Gas, No Wages, No Way Out

No Gas, No Wages, No Way Out

He came home drunk again no wages all gambled

she watched from the sink with her hands in cold water

six hungry mouths and nothing but silence

the oldest one asked but she just shook her head

she scraped at the crusts left cold on the table

and prayed they’d forget what it felt like to beg

The baby was crying she hummed to the walls

no milk in the jug not a penny for bread

he slumped in the chair with his boots still on

mud on the floor and blood in his knuckles

she’d seen that look it meant trouble not sleep

she kept the knives where the kids couldn’t reach

The gas had run out the kettle sat empty

she boiled up tears in the back of her throat

once he had danced her through fields in the summer

now he could barely stand straight at the door

his pockets were silent his promises colder

the ring on her finger just weighed a bit more

They slept in a pile like puppies for warmth

thin little backs pressed close in the dark

she stayed awake with her feet on the lino

counting the hours till he started to snore

outside the wind didn’t know they were starving

inside she curled knew she couldn’t take anymore

She would go to her family and beg each one

for gas money bread maybe a tin or two

tomorrow she said that’s if I make it

my heart’s dying of shame and sorrow too

She walked past the shops with her head pulled low

same coat same shoes same hollow pride

each window held things she’d never afford

each step felt heavy like someone had died

her sister said nothing just handed some food and coins

her brother looked off and her mother just sighed

The family filled a few bags with food

she shamefully thanked them and fled down the lane

the wind caught her eyes but she let them run

each step away from them dragging her pain

she clutched at the bread like it might disappear

and prayed they’d forget she had come again

She came home from her mother with food and coins

the daylight sat still on the cold kitchen floor

the children were hungry but silent with waiting

she placed down the bags then closed the door

There was no gas so she opened a tin

fed them cold beans with a plastic spoon

the baby half-slept with food on her lip

and the others curled close in a quiet cocoon

she wrapped her coat tighter and sat on the tiles

not moving, not speaking, just staring till noon

He was still in his chair with his head hung low

a ghost in the house that had nothing to give

the kids clung to hope she didn’t have left

and she counted each breath and chose to live

Eventually that day she got a social worker

to take her children away. and committed suicide

all alone heartbroken, there was no other way.