No Desire

What do you do

When you lose your only desire

And become so dire

Keep going

Like a machine

Don't stop moving

Keep drifting

Even when you're bleeding

Even when you drop

Drag yourself along

Tik

Tok

Don't even pay attention to the clock

It's only a matter of time

Before you go haywire.

Press my head against the Glock

Take a deep breath

Lay my finger on the trigger

Feel the death

Hugging my body

Warmly

Goosebumps are rising

Heart pounding

Adrenaline pumping

Tears falling

I can't help but start laughing

So much emotions I can't control

It makes me hysterical

I look up and scream

Like I've always wanted to

My tears fall to my ears

Then with one command to my finger

The gun goes off

My thoughts spray against the wall

And My body drops

With my eyes still open

Staring at the chaotic splatter on the wall

But at last

I don't try to understand it.