New Year's Revolution

"New year, new you"

I said mockingly

As my aunt pulled out a batch of brownies from the oven

But your old brownies were perfect

Just the way they were

We are told in a million little ways

That we are not enough

That we are broken

Fat, ugly

Unworthy

The answer is a purchase

A new diet

Or dishwasher

This vacation

That cream

These stupid pants, looked bad in the 90s

But somehow they will fix all my problems now

Our messy houses will be clean

Stress with disappear

Thinness will bring happiness

Life will be flawless and fresh

If you just enter your credit card and

Buy now

The purses and boots, and

The Pelotons and watches

Are going to collect dust someday

Probably soon

And when we are left disappointed

Once again

The ads will keep us believing

That your happiness is just the right pair of yoga pants away

A lie that keeps us poor and

Joy just out of reach

Then comes January

Feeling puffy from the holidays

Stressed, exhausted

Broke from hustling through

The expectations of December

They tell us to reinvent ourselves

That December You was such a mess

Throw her out and try again

An impossible task, and

PS- You were never enough

The whole thing

Feels like a set-up

Because

It is

I joked about becoming a new person

With new shoes and brownies

Ties and pencils

But I stopped saying my sarcastic line

When I realized

I was telling all my people

Their regular selves were

Not enough

What we need each January is tender

Time to listen, reflect and think

What we is need is slow

Quiet time to watch plants grow

Some rest and sleep

But to get this

We have to reclaim

What is ours--

Body, mind, space and time

We don't have to be new

We are already enough

But to have a more beautiful world

We must be brave enough to

Turn our insides out

Deep down we know exactly what we need

If we take the time to ask and listen

We each deserve

To be more than just alright

The reason ads don't prey on men is

To keep us in our places

To starve us, to keep our minds on hunger

What our lives are missing

To keep us distracted

From things that really matter

So much of our time and space

Funneled to stay focused on

Invented problems

If we all knew how much our pain was shared

How much the lies disease us

We would gather and commune

Overturn this whole damn scam

When I closed the door and ask what my body wanted,

I was surprised she asked

For more warm drinks

More rest and ease

Unquantifiable

As a win or failure

Just a quiet suggestion

That pointed me to cozy moments with

Hot tea and blankets

Cider and bonfires

Waking up slower

Talking a little more gently

Maybe January is a good time to reset

Not to cleanse our bodies and houses

Not to perfect anything

But to ask ourselves

How can we return

To who we really are

This year I'm letting go of more expectations

I'm choosing myself instead

My body is asking clearly

For more books and art

More snuggles in bed

More wool socks

More staring out the window

More sun

More slow

More sleep

Let's close the doors tight

Leave the noise out there

Turn in and listen closely

Leave old resolutions in the past

Let's start a New Year's Revolution this year

Meet me in the alley at midnight

Bring all your disappointment

Lies and distractions

Amazon boxes

And empty promises

We'll throw some gasoline

On the old script

Let it burn

Reclaim our power

So when the embers smolder

We can go inside and

Rest

And in February, we'll wake

Forget the cards and roses

Together, separately

Let our hearts decide

How to celebrate love, and

Let expectations

Burn all year