New Friends

You made things hard for me

Not going to lie, I cried almost every night because of you

I never wanted to accept you, I never wanted to say hi

And that’s weird for me, I love making new friends

You persisted and followed me because for some crazy reason, you liked me

Go away because I don’t want you in my life

You made things so hard for me to handle

You brought fear into my life, I couldn’t go downtown without my heart screaming in pain

I couldn’t walk pass certain buildings, I couldn’t eat my once favorite foods, I couldn’t wear the clothes I wanted to anymore because I was disgusted with myself,

I couldn’t hug people the way I used too without you changing innocent acts into demonic plays

When I saw those people, the ones who made you stronger, you made me flee in fear

You made me remember things I so desperately wanted to forget

Those disgusting touches, those lies they told me, those friendship I thought would last a lifetime

I cried almost every night, wishing and praying the fear away

I refused to look at you because I thought I already knew who you were

A parasitic friend that was suddenly dropped into my life to kill me

I thought you didn’t care for my well being

I gave up with tears in my eyes

This battle I had with you, it was finally over

You won

I expected you to deliver your final blow

Instead you sat right next to me, you let me cry and scream, you never once forced yourself on me

But then… I looked at you

You were just as scared as me, you feared for me, even though you were bigger than me

I could see that you were trying to shield with your bodies

All those times I thought you were making things harder, you were trying to make easier

It makes me laugh because you didn’t do it right

I’m sorry I blamed everything on you

I’m sorry I got so angry with you

Your appearances don’t exactly scream out friendly

But I thank you for trying your best, I thank you for cutting back on the fear you lent to me

I’m glad you guys are my friends.

I’m glad I finally accepted you