My Truths

Please be warned. This may trigger some. I wish no harm.

I tried to report

But was a child and did not have the words

So the trials continued.

I didn’t report

Because he was my boyfriend

And no one would believe.

I dared not report

Because he had money for an attorney

And I flirt when I drink.

Instead I buried the memories

Of each rape, of the pain

Trying to survive.

I hid the memories

Of the fear and shame

Trying to remain alive.

I hid in terror of the helplessness

Of the women and child within me

Who knew nothing of safety.

Eventually my barriers overloaded

Cracking with the strain

Falling, shattered, protecting no more.

Each unspeakable moment released

Memories again relived

Pain and terror reborn.

I once again remembered

No one anywhere is safe

My foundation shaken, I blamed myself.

I blamed the child

For not making herself understood

When she didn’t have the words

I blamed the young woman

Who knew and feared the system

For not reporting and saving others.

I blamed the one who understood

That money supersedes truth,

And drinking complicated reality

So, it became her fault; she asked for it.

With the help of unseen voices

Those who heard my silent tears

I was reminded of many things.

I had been an innocent child

Unable to use my voice

It was not my fault.

I was a young woman

Who understood how the system treats victims

It still was not my fault.

I was a Strong Woman

Who dared not involve her friends

In no way was it my fault.

I now begin to stand strong

Beside other survivors

Reminding them, It is not their fault.

The stories tell us

That a woman is raped

That is only partially true.

The remainder of the story

Must be told this day

The fault belongs not with the victim.

Our system has it backwards

Blaming victims, calling them every name

Protecting their attackers.

The truth is simple

No matter what is said

The fault lies not with the victim.

A MAN RAPES A WOMAN.

THE CHOICE, THE BEHAVIOR IS HIS.

THE FAULT LIES WITH THE RAPIST.