My safe place

The water covers my body as I sit in this warm bath.the lights are off my candle is just flickering away… I sit here and wonder is my pain supposed to go or stay…. My dear friend pain came to join me as I sit here all alone every thought is eating me up one bone at a time. If only I can change the past I say as tomorrow is another day to dread…. I just wish I can run.

Run far away and never come back. Run from the people run away from myself. Let me run far away as I can. All I’m asking is please god don’t ruin my plan…. I run far into the woods and find a cave. Oh so peaceful and warm. It’s sad how this is my safe place.

My thoughts settle and I become peaceful I loosen up and make myself a bed in this cave. I put my blanket over me and breathe peacefully. The sounds from outside are so calming to me as I slowly drift into a deep sleep. I’m awoken by flashlights shining in my face. Ugh damn i wish I would’ve finished my dream.

Young lady who do you think you are running away from home? Running away from everything? I’m still in a daze when all I can answer is I guess it was just a faze.

I wake up to find myself at home in my own bed ugh I say as I question myself…. If only it was reality and not just a good dream.

I get up and do the daily things for my day only to wish I would’ve shood those people away. My thoughts are contained but don’t know for how long so many questions come with it. For example like where do I belong?

I drive on the highway during the day only to wish that my heart can cut loose from me and fly away…. I pick up on speed like there’s no tomorrow when the only thing I wish is that I can I can change the past.

The past is the past I’m living now on the future my thoughts are slowly opening from the container as I’m slowly becoming sane. I push with all my might to keep the lid down. With all my energy I feel like I’m torn out.

And so with these thoughts I try to contain I wonder what is the thing that I’m grasping onto that’s keeping me so sane?