My Own Noises

it’s hard enough

to drown out

my own noise

let alone

the babbling effluent of others

in this auditory jungle

i never saw the fire in my eyes

i didn't have a mirror

i didn't have a cover

i didn't have a plan

just a funny feeling in my gut

a tingle and a buzz in my nut

i look inside and i’m all shut

another broken boredom slut

i never felt the flame in my heart

not a single fuckin thing

i didn't dare i didn't share

i didn't have a single clue

there was no them, no we, no us

no i, no me, no you

i never thought i could be that affected

and so deliriously apathetic

both at the same bloody time

no cares just silly giggles

and some silly fuckin wriggles

getting caught

caught up in a squirm

escape the dream

the curse, the worm

i never really knew i could know

know a me free of doubt

know a me free from pain

know a me free from knowing

and having to do it all again

but still given the option

i’d like to be free once more

completely bindless

beholden to neither

man state or god

nothing to lose

but we don't get to pick

don't get to choose

running blind

with what we're given

crazed and wilded

on the edge living

running for shelter

not running for fame

gunning for freedom

not gunning for game

a proximity pose

a process i suppose

and if it glows

drop it..

.and bail

STAT!