My hands were full of sand

My hands were full of sand

slowly silently slipping

through that inevitable small gap

between where two of my palms lay beside one another

I would lovingly stare down at this

abundantly

magical

forming formation of stories

spread through billions of memories

all compacted into these small shards of sand

from the 'beginning' of time

my very own timer.

The sand had run out,

I innocently gathered a new section of sand

my hands were full of sand

but this sand was much colder

harsher

corse

yet I knew I had to get through this sand,

I hadn't picked it up by chance, I have to be here with this colder, harsher, corser sand

till the timer ran out again

i’m still here, making my way through the colder harsher corser sand

but little did I know

(but yet I know now, as I accept nothing else)

the sun has been warming the top of the sand in my hand

and soon the colder harsher corser sand

will run through my hands with a warm touch

soft and smooth

like a clogged plug able to breathe again

colder, harsher, corser sand is hard to hold onto

I decided that it will soon transmute

into warmer softer smoother sand

and so i’ll wait,

i’ve been here before in the life, the past and the next, all at once, so my wisdom and strength will get me through the grief

and the changing factor is 'time', journeying onwards

the same but different sands of time

because what's the difference but how it feels,

i've known a pleasant feeling before so I will meet it again

hence the memories i've held of how pleasant it can feel and will feel again.

Slipping through

passing by

making its way

I remember the sand that would slip into castles

passing time

sand passed to my older brother,

my older brother making his way to my younger brother

and there was us, building sand castles

then suddenly the sand turned cold

the castles collapsed

my older brother had started to slip away

he learnt how to destroy castles

it heavily passed to my younger brother

cowering within its walls

he soon falls

my heart broke

we never spoke

for years, no tears, just silence and echos of past memories and quiet fears

we're trying our hardest again to show our love for eachother.

and we will again, i miss them, and i'll see them again soon and so for now we love eachother in the rubble of the castles and in the walls of our faith and love, cowered over or standing tall, my soul will always love first regardless.