Motherhood

Missing something

I never had

Scared

Lonely

Cold

Torn tissue paper

Covered in

Glue

That could have been used

To repair my heart that is

Fated for the landfill

Aching

For my

Wire mother

Even though

Her sharp edges

Carved out chunks of me

Through the spartan

Cloth

"Something is wrong here"

My brain says-

But it won't tell me what

Exactly

Vivid dreams

Of wrenching pain

Color the happy moments

When I finally learn

What love is

My fingers in the past

My arms in Seattle

My legs deep underground

My head has rolled away

But the rest of me is yours

And it isn't enough

I knew it wouldn't be

I did my best, for whatever that is worth

I was broken from the start

A flimsy side table

With only two directions

For assembly

And pieces that don't belong

Together