Monsters and Sunflowers

I ran

I ran as fast as I could

Straight to my refuge

With two terrifying monsters close behind

I dared not turn to see them

I could feel their breath on my neck

I could feel the ground tremble with each terrifying footfall

I slammed the door and locked it tight

And crawled under the covers

And pretended not to hear them

Safe for the moment

The next day was the same

As I left my safety, my comfort zone,

The monsters waited,

And immediately roared at me

Their slobbering mouths full of yellowed teeth

The chase began again

One yellow monster had numerous misshapen heads and sharp claws

Each head was different from the others

Some larger, some smaller

All of them terrifying

One had a name written on its forehead

It was labeled work obligations

Another head was labeled school

Another family expectations

Another financial pressure

Another health issues

Anxiety had numerous heads

And new ones kept appearing

He had the power to paralyze with fear

And make me shrink before him

Unable to even look at him

Because if I look at him

More heads appear

The other was a world breaking large black beast

Who blotted out the sun with his immense void

Who tried to crush me with his weight

Once under his power it was difficult to breathe

For Depression had the power to sap the energy out of me,

To drain me of hope and steal my worth

And even to end my life

And most frighteningly,

Anxiety made Depression much heavier, larger than my world.

And Depression multiplied the heads of Anxiety until they couldn’t be counted.

I ran for survival.

But then a thought came to me

I remembered what the Wonderful Counselor had taught me

And I stopped dead still

I listened to my breathing

I felt the tension in my jaws

And I purposefully slackened the muscles

I close my eyes and I feel the comfort of a warm slow breeze

I hear birds chirping and singing blissfully unaware of any danger

I calm down my racing heart

I open my eyes and see sunflowers nearby in a meadow

Their brown faces and yellow petals all facing the same direction

I remember their lesson

And as a sunflower turns throughout the day towards the light

I turn myself to the Son

I take a piece of that light

That light that whispers love and peace to my broken soul

I hold up the light like a candle

And look at Anxiety

He stares at me bewildered that I am not running

I reason that his many heads are actually illusions

That with a reasonable amount of care on my part

Each head will diminish

And as that thought catches hold on me

They disappear one by one until

The beast vanishes

I stare down Depression

He refuses to go away easily

I bring the light nearer and stare into his blackness and shadow

I can feel my worth

I can feel the love of the Savior

My Father holds the light with me

He tells me that my worth is great

Far greater than a man could tell

And that it’s never diminished by anything I think or do

Depression releases its hold

The mighty beast shrinks slowly

Until it is no larger than a sickened puppy

It no longer controls me

Although it continues to follow me

Like a homeless mongrel

But I am no longer scared

And I don’t run any more

Because my Father walks with me

And I know how to breathe.