Middle Age Quagmire
For Being Nothin' but a Number, Age Has Done a Number on Me!
Middle Age Quagmire
Out of shape and out of style /
A shotgun shack for a domicile.
Overworked and overdrawn /
Still, I keep on keeping on.
Put out to pasture /
This show's gone dark;
This gelded guard dog's secret?
I'm no bite, all bark.
Orthopedic insoles /
propping up my fallen arches;
Type 2 Diabetes /
finds me eating fewer starches.
Out of shape, and out of style /
A shotgun shack for a domicile.
Overworked and overdrawn /
How long can I keep keeping on?
Squatty Potty for my voids /
Creams and ointments for my roids.
Spicy foods burn even worse /
Pouring out my puckered purse.
From champing at the bridle /
To overfed and idle.
I'm a one-dimensional effigy /
of the 3D man I used to be.
A pitiful, pitiable parody /
A necessity now known as a novelty.
For being nothin' but a number /
Age has done a number on me!
About the Creator
Chris Z
My opinion column garnered more reader responses than any other contributor in the paper's 40-year run. As a stand-up comic, I performed in 16 countries & 26 states. I've written 2 one-man shows, umpteen poems, songs, essays & chronologies.
'20/20'
"Do It Again" the track that would ultimately open the Beach Boys final album on Capitol Records which was released on February 10th 1969 had originally been released as a single in August of 1968. The track was the first of many post-Pet Sounds era throwbacks to the early Beach Boys sound which would become continually more cliched and eventually lead the Beach Boys to the level of self-parody they would eventually succumb to in the 1980s while their closest contemporaries The Beatles nearing the end of their run in 1969 would go on to be viewed as the most influential band of all time. However, the song itself is not bad on its surface, and it opens with a futuristic sounding (for 1969) drumbeat captured by then-Beach Boys engineer Stephen Desper using tape delays on the drums performed by Dennis Wilson and John Guerin. The song has been re-recorded numerous times over the years on various Beach Boys-related projects most notably the 2011 re-recording at Capitol studios featuring the five surviving Beach Boys at the time backed instrumentally by various members of both the Brian Wilson Band and Mike Loves touring "Beach Boys" to promote the then upcoming Beach Boys 50th Anniversary reunion tour in 2012. The hammering and power drill sound at the end of the song was an excerpt from a track called "Workshop" that was to be a part of the uncompleted "SMiLE" album.
By Sean Callaghan6 days ago in Beat
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