... merrily down the stream

I know what it is with you…

Your father has the shipfitter blues

Must be tough to cram those ships down the bottle neck

How’s the traffic?

Do blues singers use Autotune?

Or do they just let the tuning fall where it may (look out for falling flats)?

Autotune’s on sale

Pink cadillac, that’s a good auto-tune

By User ChiemseeMan on de.wikipedia - Own work, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=908079

Why’d the alarm wake me up anyway?

You have to go in but I’m as free as a yellow bird

Up high in banana tree

Banana trees can take over an island

Aggressive bananas

Banana bullies

Islands traumatized by banana bullying

Look at Tahiti, chiquita

And your ecosphere gets messed up bad

Pigs make it worse

So a luau’s a good thing

Sort of celebration

No destruction from this porker’s wallowing

No malaria

Did Stanley and Livingstone have a brush with malaria

And what were their hats like? What should we presume?

Why’d the alarm wake me up anway?

That was for you not me

What’s my first appointment?

Lessee... Haircut?

No that was your idea

Could be time for a burger

That’d be worth getting up for

But the buns, always the buns

Like Flakey Puff who dreamt that up?

Bet Rappers don’t use Autotune

Who could tell the difference?

Maybe K pop but Yankee gangstas would do them in

Kick the Flakey Puff out of ‘em in the alley

Take me to the Alley Alley-O

That’s where the big ship sailed right?

On the Alley-Alley-O--oh?

How d’you spell that one?

Maybe a salad would be smarter

A smart salad maybe

Our smart salad sets up your day

Organizes your to do list:

Dressing, shaving, guillotining...

Answers your email

And calls

Hello this is Mr. Cobb

I’ll be waiting for you in the Alley-Alley-O or maybe at the window

Why do they not use Thousand Island dressing on the Cobb?

It’s just a smidgeon short of perfection

A pigeon's smidgeon

A smidgeon of squab

They use it on the Big Mac, don’t they?

Not squab, I mean the M Island...

That must account for its popularity

Its debonairity, its airy Flaherty

Parity?

Or rarity?

Pretty scarity…

Did Cobb know Flaherty?

And if S. O’Neill got to conduct the Boston Pops why didn’t they ask me? Swish, he batoned,

And on and on, basket after basket

My tuning’s good I don’t need no Autotune

Pink cadillac, rollin’ down the street…

Had a ride in a pink cadillac goin’ to Grizzly’s restaurant

They had their own wine

Young wine I s’pose

Est-ce que le Grizzly nouveau est arrivé?

Would Monsieur care to sample the Grizzly?

Yes but Monsieur will take it to go in the pink cadillac

Driver please take us to the Alley-Alley-O

Will we find Alley Oop there?

That guy had triceps!

Why’d you leave the alarm on for me? That’s not funny

Funny would be one of those granola sandwiches you love

Phony tuna and sprouts, now that would be funny

With some of that fake mayo, that would make it runny

Could be the funny runny feature of the sunny Earl of Sandwich sandwich

Now he must’ve known Cobb

And if his sandwiches had been any good

Cobb wouldn’t have turned to salads

Maybe he started on a bad day

“Mr. Cobb sir, we can’t edit the musical number. The Autotune’s on the Fritz”

“But that’s your name isn’t it?”

“Fritz? No sir. He broke the Autotune.”

“What?”

“The Autotune, sir, so we can’t edit the tuning.”

“No who?”

“Fritz, sir.”

“Leave me alone, all of you. I’m going to order a salad….”

“We have no salad on the menu.”

“Well just throw in all the leftovers…”

“Even the bananas?”

… Oh see what loving you has done to me?

I have the shipfitter-blue-cheese-dressing-on-my-salad-blues!