Measure for measure a rebuttal to breadcrumbs

What is reciprocal behavior?

Reciprocity is a social norm that involves in-kind exchanges between people—responding to another's action with another equivalent action. It is usually positive (e.g. returning a favor), but it can also be negative (e.g. punishing a negative action) (Fehr & Gächter, 2000). Feb 21, 2023

The beauty of life is the ability to grow and change and adjust as we become who we want to be in this world. Whether we are heroes or villains or choose to exist in the mundane or whether we are with others or alone we give ourselves the chance to grow and change into something that resembles an ever-evolving enigma to those not allowed to be a part of our story and all the mystery and majesty that it contains.

Some choose to reach this goal alone and others require reciprocity, that wonderful give and take is necessary for developing into a whole person.

I am the latter without regard and despite this give and take way of growing and its limitations I embark on it because that is how I am able to build the ladder reaching for my fully formed self.

With that being said, Yes, I adore you, but I feel empty with you, and I find myself constantly needing something from you. It is like I am clawing to reach you but I’m still not able to. You’re not able to give me what I am craving; it’s like I am in perpetual longing and yearning that now it just feels unrequited and one-sided is as if I am taking this journey alone even though I want you with me.

I find myself pleading, begging ,and compromising, deviating and forgetting who I am ,all for borrowed time that wasn’t set aside for me and given, not out of want, but obligation and yet it still feels like it’s not for me.

I am in competition with the dreams and goals you are pursing with such vigor and hunger, you have become like an animal that’s been starved for days with only the future meal in view, while I am left behind at the starting line, and I am nowhere even close to your side.

I put the onus on myself as well, because you never lied with your actions, but your words gave birth to the potential of what could have been, and the idea of that greatness distracted me and clouded my thoughts and then with my unmet expectations it shed such a harsh and glaring light to your empty intentions. That it jolted me back to the bleak and ever-present reality that you are truly just too busy for me. I truly hope that you become the ruler of your empire and carve out the family of your dreams and become the best and absolutely amazing version of yourself.

I won't be there to see it and I won't be there to feed your false ego and to tend to your garden of delusions and empty promises as if I am the sun, moon and the rain.

I am not the sun or rain, I can’t even feel the breeze right now because I am holed up in a cavern sustaining on breadcrumbs all the while I am feeding you from my plate that was full of flavor and variety, and it has become empty, and there I was still scrapping my portion out with a fork gathering all the crumbs left of me, I ended up sitting alone starved and empty.

This is heavy to hear, and I could no longer hold its weight as my knees were starting to buckle. As much as I adore you and who you will become, I can’t feed off my own expectations and your unfulfilled potential.

I deserve more than a pittance of bread; I want a banquet so vast it puts to shame the greed of gluttony. I am not asking for forgiveness for wanting something frowned upon and deemed excessive when I gave three times the amount with love and unabandonment.

So, I will no longer welter waiting for some turn of faith or for you to rein in your emotions and "settle " for me. I am climbing out of this cavern and burying it, closing that gap behind me.

I will feel the sun on my skin, and

I will hear the breeze in my ears, and

I will feed myself from the hands that will no longer hold yours but instead will knead my dough for my loaf.