Meant for Kings and Queens

Call me witless

But I was scared shitless

Thinking that this would be my doom

With God as my witness

I can't believe I did this

I went and used a neutral bathroom

The doors had no locks

I made sure to knock

Cause I didn't want to intrude

Here, as I talk

I was greeted with shock

And feared of being too rude

After losing a pound

I did hear the sound

Of the door being pushed away

Knowing I crowned

For the bowl, I had browned

Fearing the smell would drift their way

More than the smell that aired

It was the people that paired

That shared the room with me

I was more than just scared

The space I now shared

Was a mother with her progeny

Now my one fear

Was to have Chris Hansen appear

And try to offer me a seat

The scene was too weird

Worse than shit's that's been smeared

So I cleaned up to make a retreat

In knots was my gut

I had marker butt

Profusely I continued to wipe

Let me tell ya' what

I wiped till I got a cut

Not to my delight

When I was finished and clean

I left the latrine

To go and wash my hands

There while I preened

Was a woman with a sweater striped green

Who also wore several bands

Once my hands dried

Out the room I stride

Back to eat with my Dad

On the inside I cried

I wanted to hide

But we laughed, making me glad

Later that night

To my delight

I japed with a guy

We laughed at my plight

So, here I do write

How we saw eye-to-eye

Tell me what do You think?

I'll drop a quick link

So, why not give it a read?

If You're already on the can

With some time on Your hands

May this make You laugh so hard that You've peed.