Me or I

Everytime I fall and fail to get back up,

I hide behind the curtains of my anxiety,

I have never learned how to let go,

I just let it hurt,

I would love to pretend all is well but its a lie,

I have never known how to find joy,

I am yet to master the art of determination,

My fear of heights is the reason I don't ever aim high,

I have been in matches that I didn't even get to pick my opponents,

been beaten many times,

When nothing I do seems to work out I try this,

I try that way,

Sometimes i feel the only better option left is to stay away.

I am still understanding the art of self justification,

I am training my self to be a warrior,

when we have reached the battle ground,

and the battle has already started,

If there is something I don't know,

How to wear is my confidence,

I am afraid once I step out it will fall like tear drops and shatter like glasses,

I won't even know where to start from,

if I have to pick it up,

Last year I broke up with my courage,

Right now as I am speaking,

I have appointments with my dreams,

Sadly they seem to be a million miles away.

I am pushing so hard not to fall behind

this trails of confusion,

I don't why ,

but I feel like the road have taken,

is still under construction,

I am working hard to lay my self a stable foundation,

if you see me here today smiling

the truth behind this hearting warming smile,

is beautiful scars and sweet tear drops.

Poetry within!