Maybe?

Maybe I wasn’t made to be that deep, because I was made to be someone who is just NORMAL maybe someone who doest find peace in anything and anyone.

Maybe I wasn’t made to have big group of real friends, just few good friends but not so close enough to call them mine. Maybe I dream and pray and wish with my whole heart to have it and make so many wrong decision for it that it takes a part of myself, all I every want is to feel the feeling of being loved.

But that doesn’t means I don’t love myself I do, more than anyone can but deep inside my heart I still crave for someone to care for me, who’s action would prove that I am loved; maybe a friend, maybe a lover, maybe someone. But at the end of the day when I am all by myself I know the truth, I know that maybe I wasn’t meant for all of it.

Which is absolutely fine because what else can I do instead of excepting it.

Maybe I am not someone’s forever and nobody is forever for me and all I can do is be more desperate to have it, that I start losing myself to earn it. But maybe I wasn’t made to earn it maybe it should have come naturally to me but maybe God made me just to be a part for everything and maybe not forever.

I sit alone thinking maybe there are more people in life to come who will stick by me and be my forever but all this waiting has started to be my worst enemy, since I was a kid I only wished to be seen by the eyes of love, even if its just a friendship.

But after all this I came alone and I have to die alone, then why does my hearts wish for someone, WHY?

Maybe nobody was ever made to understand me, maybe I wasn’t even made to understand myself, maybe I am puzzle who can only be solved by God himself.

No matter how hard I try to understand myself, my nature, my like, my dislikes, my behaviour, what was I made for; but the only thing that is left with me is a question unanswered; WHO AM I?