Marbled

Marbled

I remember the first night that I knew God was real,

It was dark, and I was alone in the crowd.

I remember the preacher who spoke without zeal,

No knowing where his words would land.

I gave my life to God, amongst pain and rejection

The people around me had no clue.

It was the first time I had felt a real connection.

I found out later, they gave their lives that night too.

And so I signed my name into the book of life,

Just like that, not so hard after all.

I felt the Spirit moving in me like a knife

Cutting away at my self centred walls.

But wait! Second thoughts, this life is too hard,

It’s too painful to love like this.

Scarred hands brushed away what life had marred

Deep breaths, I will carry you through it.

Eventually, the pain stopped, the past finally erased,

Never to have control of me again.

But now what? Emptiness, a vast space

Lost, and no thought on how to begin.

But then. A warmth, a love, a fire,

Filling spaces I never knew I had.

God proving to me, that the world was the liar.

He was real, and now I would never forget.

These are the things I now know about God.

He is love and life is still hard.

He is good and He rules with a mighty rod.

He is faithful, and I am humbled.

He has a plan, whether I like it or not,

He promises to talk, and to listen.

When I have nothing, He is all that I’ve got

And forever is more than the present.

I know that God always wants to be found

I just have to not loose my faith.

Every noose of my sin can be unwound

And I know I’ll get there if I wait.

And when I do, I will look back on this life and marvel,

Why did He choose me out of the dust?

And gave me a new heart, not of stone this time, but of marble

With a seal on it, His name, written in blood.

I know now that this complex struggle is worth it,

Though I forget now and again.

I am thankful my life is redeemed from the darkness.

For every day I am His is another Amen.