Males

Control, abandonment, and toxic masculinity.

Weren’t arms of dependability, their hands held knives.

That reliability was a two inch frozen lake.

Their words weren’t passive, they were weapons.

Priorities such as me had its limits.

A planted love departed.

An absent love fooled by distant presence.

My youth stripped.

My growth replaced by control.

I grew up young yet was stuck and struggled with no sense of self.

My voice snatched

My mind shattered.

My self-esteem being cut down.

My submission too elevated to even think for myself.

My thinking and feelings divided by gaslighting methods I didn’t understand.

My power taken.

Made origami that you’d fold to your liking and if I didn’t bend correctly you would crumble me.

You exploited me.

I only had my puppet bones and painted skin left.

Like the Stockholm robbery; break down my walls while I somehow let you enter my heart when I was nothing but a means to an end to you and now I am torn between the love that I have for you and the hurt that had came from you.

You created a willing necessity for me to run from anything that was masculine, but it’s time to start accepting that not every male is like you.

I’m willing to accept new chances from minds and hearts as they are and not from my own pass experiences.

That was to the males who pierced me because I still had something left other than the empty melancholic haunt that you gave me.