Photo by Jonathan J. Castellon on Unsplash
As
Breath
Catches,
Daisy’s
Eyes
Finally
Glance
Haltingly
Into
Jake’s.
Kiss?
Leaning,
Makeout quickly.
No-one
Observes,
Patrons
Quabble.
Red-faced
Smiles.
Tingling
Underneath
Vibrations.
Would an
X-Ray show this?
Yearning but also
Zen.
About the Creator
Joe O’Connor
New Zealander
English teacher
Short stories and poems📚
Please be honest- I would love your constructive feedback, as it's the only way I'll get better. Would rather it was pointed out so I can improve!
Currently writing James The Wonderer
Keep reading
More stories from Joe O’Connor and writers in Poets and other communities.
Comments (6)
Beautiful piece. Well done.
a wonderful piece of writing.
Brief stolen encounter echoed in the form. Nice.
Ooh! Great take on the challenge! This one is so pure and lovely. The halting style says so much about uncertainty. You get that depth as well, despite so few words. 👏👏👏
Even trickier to do with so few words per line, but you smashed it!
I love how the halting style echoes that tentative, awkward, but maybe just right, feeling described.