Make-Up

"You look beautiful today, Carol."

He tells me as I walk into the room,

"Thank you,"

I respond, but my smile is

fake.

Sitting in front of this mirror,

Unable to face the world,

Because I look pale and disgusting,

And make-up hides my flaws;

Just a little more blusher,

Just a little more lipstick,

Then I don't have to reveal this

ugly demon beneath,

You know;

The one you just said is

"Beautiful,"

Though she knows that she is pale

and horrible,

That "thank you" was only empty words,

Of fake confidence,

Playing behind her fake red smile.

She steps into the room,

In her little black dress,

Fake walking tall,

Because she knows what will impress,

She laughs and she flirts,

Though she is a trembling mess,

But;

This wimp of anxiety is only for her

eyes,

So she doesn't cause embarrassment,

Or distress.

She gets plenty of compliments,

And she thanks everyone,

Holding her head high,

Eyes sparkling,

So nobody can see the

Fat, pale, anxious clown underneath.

Her legs are like jelly,

So,

She pulls out her lipstick,

A symbol of confidence,

Hidden behind her mask of low

Self-esteem.

She forces herself to eat,

Though she is conscious of her weight;

She makes up excuses,

"My eyes need fixing,"

Though the toilet bowl secretly becomes her best

friend.

She finds a full-length mirror,

And begins observing her weight,

They told her she has a beautiful figure,

Though all she sees are ripples.

Tears leave black streaks down her face,

But that's ok,

She can wash and fix it,

She pulls out her makeup,

"Powder will hide the flaws,"

And once more, she's fake smiling

her way through the door.

She dances and laughs with fake happiness,

Then it's time to go home and face her messiness.

"You look so beautiful"

They tell her as she leaves;

But,

As she sits in front of the mirror,

She quietly sobs,

And she scrubs her skin until it peels,

Because beauty does not heal.