Luminescence

Did I miss a stop

When arriving at this place?

Did I sign on the dotted line

Of a contract for a soul with the wrong face?

Born into a family of partying

Smoking, drinking, loud music galore

It was easy for me to sense the pain

In the windows to their souls and behind their heart’s door.

This isn’t me, I don’t agree

I just am not the same;

I will not live my life this way

Inserting coins into this game.

Break the mold, the buck stops here

I felt from an early age

What caused so much pain, to keep their book

Stuck perpetually on the same page?

I came to find, with little surprise

This pain is not unique;

It’s up levels of the tree, and all over the world

Relief is what they seek.

If I’m not the same as my family

And this is what they do

Then as the world turns to the same mechanisms

I’m striving to begin anew.

It’s not the pain that’s different

Because that pain is real

It’s in the fact I notice that

I don’t numb what I feel

As I age, I experience

My own kind of unique pain

Being outside the majority leads

To walking a solitary lane

So I try their ways, to understand

Just what it is to be

“Numbing the pain, uniting in woes,

At least it’s not just me”

What I find is what’s been reflected

For much of the time to date

There isn’t an authentic bond

When you’re in the lack of love state

Once again, I tell myself

This cannot be the way

The loving source inside me

Has some words to say

Pain is contrast in this life

It gives you some insight

On where to grow, from where you know

But by bringing it into the light

Avoiding, masking, numbing

Bottling up inside

Eventually snowballs into

An avalanche that you can’t hide

It will make its way outward

Exposing to them all

Everything you’ve felt inside

But wouldn’t answer the call

Little did you know that

On the other end of the phone

Your inner being is waiting

Just to hear your authentic tone

It wants you to know that

It has been there all along

You’re never alone, you’re loved and all

It appreciates your song

The pain from lone wolf walking

On a road separate from the rest

Rooted back to isolating

From the me inside my chest

Distance from my inner being

that I perceive as “from the whole”

Is standing outside the sun’s rays

Feeling cold in my soul

All I had to do was

Step right back into the rays

The light is warm, it fills me up

Returning me to my ways

I fully comprehend desire

For connection with another soul

It is an innate need for us

But not from an empty bowl

Bowl you say? Yes I do

A bowl full of love is a thing

Much like a cup, you must fill up

From there your love is seen

But not only seen, it is felt

By anyone around

Infecting all with soulful music

That doesn’t have a sound

Yet it hits the notes you needed to hear

It moves you the right way

You once again feel the light my friend

The night turns into day

I saw that my own pain

Kidnapped me from the mirror

It held me for a ransom

But the intention became clearer

It called out to me in desperation

“If I have to, I will rob!”

It was then I knew the reunion

with joyous love would be an inside job

We hold parts of ourselves away from our core

The result is the disconnected feeling

It isn’t meant to be a bad thing

Yet it keeps us reeling

Until we finally understand

We came from pure positive light

But how would we know any different

If we didn’t experience the night?

It is meant to help us grow

To bring us to new vibrations

To raise consciousness of humanity

Regardless of our differing nations

It isn’t just my pain I feel

It comes from virtually everywhere

I’m able to adapt, transmute

And not explode into the air

I’ve learned to see that this difference in me

Is just one in many of mine

I won’t numb the pain, I’ll feel it all the way

For its a gift given to me from the divine

Another in my being is to break cycles

Within my ancestral line

For in this lifetime, healing and family is paramount

No longer these cycles go down the vine

My path is still less traveled

Yet I appreciate it infinitely more

We all are walking individually

Yet collectively to our core

We are the ones responsible

For our human side

Reactions and behaviors

Could span far and wide

Take the time of discomfort

Explore it very well

Allow yourself authentically

To feel through all the hell

Find out what is being presented

From your inner being to you

As opportunity for a chance

To integrate the new

The broadened aspects you will obtain

Brings higher levels in view

Then you can see, feel and be

What your inner being always knew

This also allows you to hold the space

When others aren’t in their glory

Let them take care of their inside jobs

And finish writing their story

Leave it to the frequency

Your soul is vibrating on

To show you who you resonate with

And wish well to those who are gone

Don’t wait for the world

To change itself, to make your life “right”

Inside yourself is the key to your wealth

No matter the perceived plight

You have the choice to feel the joy

Beyond a shadow of a doubt

Be the change you want to see in the world

It is a job, from the inside out

I see myself uniquely

Different than others might

Yet nonetheless it is in color

Reflections of my light

I see color in all others too

For everyone has a light

It can be helping them find their switch

To rise up from their night

The actual color doesn’t matter

They only need to see one

The reflection is proof of their light

And then my work is done