Love yours 🦋

I feel like us as humans tend to search for perfection in others not realizing we will never find that ... We have a list of things that they must comply with in order for us to spend our time with .. Only to realize that .. Nobody can define that .. So we set ourselves up for disappointment based on societies idea of gorgeous .. I will say that I'm quite the opposite of what this world says a woman should be .. 

I'm not anywhere near the ladies most men thirst for in magazines.. Im just an average girl trying to love myself for me .. But who is that good enough for? .. We get so wrapped up in comparing ourselves to people who hate themselves .. And sometimes we even degrade ourselves to get that quick fix of acceptance from people whose only wealth is their very own pretty reflection .. 

I want more than that .. U can like how I look but I need a deeper connection .. Someone who can see past my exteriors .. and fall in love with all of my intellectual features .. 

I can't lie and say that I've never felt like I wasn't pretty enough for a man .. But I did that to myself based on superficial standards .. 

I fall in love with the person underneath it all .. 

I yearn for the beauty that most would consider flawed .. 

Id rather my heart be a mans focus .. 

The fact that he likes my body should simply be a bonus .. 

They say the only one who can judge us .. Is God .. He loves us all the same for exactly who we are .. 

But I'm being judged every day .. By people who don't even know me ..

Sadly enough I've questioned why my relationships haven't had success .. And it's easy to blame myself because I never thought of me as sexy .. 

And all the guys I've given myself to .. Eventually they left me .. 

So what am I supposed to believe .. Especially when I see these photoshopped beauties on TV?

And all the men I wish would notice me .. Lust for barbies on the screen .. 

here I am though analyzing my figure .. And my face .. Then my waste .. Insecurities I can't shake ..so confidence I faked .. Only to go home .. Strip down .. And pray to God that he can change me .. I'm not ashamed to admit that I really have struggled with my image .. I know what it's like to cry cuz the way I look was different ..but I truly do believe that we are all beautiful to somebody ..

And maybe I'm not the ideal woman some people might prefer to see .. 

But none of that even matters now that I learned exactly how to love myself for me