Lost-ish in what it isn't
For Gabriel's "Lost-ish" Challenge
It isn’t what it is, yet is what it isn’t, love that is not love
Lost in this feeling, in this stage of ‘ish-ness’ and fog
This strange half-light of unknowing another’s heart
Her and I were something, I felt it grow from first chat
That first message telling me ‘socially awkward is where it’s at’
Fire growing and burning in us both, or at least I thought both
We met for a date, my very first date, leaps and bounds for me
I was lost, in the unknown of what to do, what to say
Discussions of the future, of life, of what to call each other, girlfriends?
You held me, made me feel safe, yet it was not to last
Time together cut short, leaving me in a pit of uncertainty
Lost again ... in a new way
Since then we have been going in circles, unsure if we are ‘we’
Time passed and I have waited, you say you ‘still think the world of me’
Yet is this what it once was, or are we fooling ourselves? Is there no ‘us’
I sit and wait days for a response, I worry and fret … and overthink
Every silence, every message read and not replied, every message hurts
Is it time to call it? Pronounce a TOD on this, the thing that never began
We aren’t anything and never have been, just on the edge of becoming
Us, you, me … more and more I feel it is not what I thought it was
I am lost-ish in what we are, lost-ish in waiting, and lost-ish in what to do
Perhaps I am just lost in a game of your making? Unable to see strings?
All I know is, this is not what it is or what it should have been by now
Yet, it is what it is not already, I am unable to find a way out of the dark
Our love isn’t what it is, and is what it isn’t all at once ...
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Written for the "Lost-ish" Unofficial Poetry Challenge
About the Creator
Savannah K. Wilson
She/Her | Australian 🏳️⚧️ Author
Queer and all class with a touch of sass! (or maybe the reverse!)
short stories, poetry, life experience
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More stories from Savannah K. Wilson and writers in Poets and other communities.
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Comments (4)
Wow- this is really, really beautiful work, Savannah! I found myself caught up in the rolling rhythm of words, with powerful emotions and moments evoked all throughout. I'm particularly struck by the phrase "just on the edge of becoming;" it is such a painfully poignant way of framing an almost-relationship. This is such a great take on the challenge, thank you so much for sharing this wonderful submission!
great work! I am glad you submitted for the unofficial challenge.
Thought provoking
Love this Poem , Love the part of lost in a new way. Amazing work…