lost childhood 2

you could ask me about it once more

I wouldn’t know

how to respond

as all the breadcrumbs slipped

on too narrow or too wide road

I was there then

alone

lookin’ for everythin’ I knew

lookin’ for you

the more I looked, the more muddled I got

entangled in a web of lies

never uttered once

but concealed

and revealed

at the hour of death

of my narcissistic father

who never gave a damn

about someone like me

distant deviant dick

that’s what he was

leavin’ me a legacy

in the shape of his spittin’ image

of my mother who became

like him

bein’ forced to overcome

to relive his life and death once more

alone

I tried to get close

but it was too late

as he took her far away

from me

to his second abode, though this time

his residence is in another world

surely, she smelled a rat in this

attitude of contradictions

or perhaps she never noticed anythin’?

never noticed my lost childhood?

it was lost because of you!

left on photographs fadin’ in sepia

real feelings

were covert

under the bedcover

under the rug

under the stairs

everywhere they could

find space

in their vast abode from hell –

great preparation for their otherworldly beings

I don’t think we’ll ever meet there

*

September 2022

***

Thank you for reading!