LOST AND NOT FOUND

I’m lost,

Tainted, reduced, reluctant—

Under the pressure of your expectations.

Ruined, depleted, redundant,

Unable to redeem myself.

Polluted, disturbed, gone—

Incapable of loving you.

Compressed, entitled,

A victim of my own circumstances—

Incapable of loving you... only.

Taut, stripped,

Two horses pulling at me—

Love and lust, both strong, but no obvious winner.

Divided, deluded, denuded,

Empty of any real love.

Rebellious, combative, militant,

Unwilling to bend to your love.

Confused, contracted, convoluted—

Show me how.

I’m lost—

In my ways, in myself, in the world,

In my world...

and in yours.

And yet,

I love you.