Longing

I can't wait to see you

I can't wait to do things with you

What should we do

It doesn't matter actually

We can do anything

We can listen to music and talk

We can hold hands and walk

We can look at the sky in silence

We can admire each other's eyes

Talk about all the things we like or dislike

Talk about why we fight

I can tell you why you I hate my eyes

You can tell me why you want my eyes

I'll let you observe me

Hoping you don't notice my blemishes

How much I am a mess

How I can never seem to sit still

In return

I hope you let me have your hand

So I can soothe myself

to help me be still

I just need your hand

To slide my fingers from your wrist all the way down to your fingers so I can feel every detail of your hand

Then with my hand on top of yours I will lay my fingers between yours and rub my thumb up and down yours

Because I can never be still

Maybe I'll pull you close

Bring us nose to nose

Our lips grazing

Our eyes gazing

Trying to read what they're saying

Trapped in each other dilating

Our breathes begin to match each other's hearts timing

We're synchronizing

Our hearts reaching for each other

With every breath

And there we will stay

Doing nothing more

Just listening

Just feeling

Just breathing

Only appreciating

The moment

Feeding off each other's chemistry

Amplifying each other's sensory

Feeling the bumps in each other's excited skin

-Why would you come here?

You came here for nothing

There is nothing here for you-

My eyes open

To

Nothing

With tears running

There's nothing for me to look at

Everything is dull

Barely visible

I have to touch things to know if they're really there

The air is thick

With dread

It sickens me

It's hard to breathe

It's suffocating

I want to sleep

But I can't

Because it's irritating

Not having you here with me

It fills me with fury

My thoughts of you never fade

Everywhere I go I see you so clearly

Why don't you leave me

It drives me crazy

Yet you're my peace

I just want to sleep

Maybe eternally

I want to rest peacefully

Selfishly

I want to disappear blissfully

Into a world that isn't mine

Because there's nothing for me.