Lonely Preparation

I like to be prepared

I’ve seen the dark side of humanity

I’ve seen the dirty side of humanity

I’ve watched the animals and tricksters

I’ve watched the girls be pursued by misters

I’ve seen children be taken advantage of

I’ve been that child myself too

I’ve experienced and become too aware

And you’ve lived your life never having to care

So you have this perspective that nothing can go wrong

It worries me and it scares me and leaves me unbalanced

That you don’t think about the things and prepare for it not to be that way

At times you seem vaguely aware but then you resort back to your default setting

And that nothing around you is ever unsettling

And it makes me feel you do not see the dangers;

Or you’ll see them too late

And there will be some too lates that you can’t fix

That we can’t resolve so easily

So my concerns feel brushed off

Cause i worry and care too much

It’s lonely to feel this way, like I’m the only one who sees

Then the increasing pressure of protecting us both falls on me

And maybe it doesn’t, but the things you vocalize

Seem to be that, darkness doesn’t exist in your eyes

It’s only everything is fine, nothing will ever go wrong

It’s the guard down that makes me feel unsafe

Like I have to fill in for this unspoken lonely duty

I wish you could understand how it makes me feel lonely

I want safety from as much as I can, wherever it might be

But to you it’ll just seem, like I’m being too much of me

These thoughts hit my head hard like skull dropped to a casket

Cause i know what it’s like to lose all the eggs in all my baskets

It weighs on me and I wish you truly understood

Not say you understand so i feel heard, when your heart never heard a word

The ground around us shakes and I can see the urgency

You see everything is fine, around us will never get that bad you’ll see

And it seems like it is up to me, to prepare for the impending tragedies

That are never acknowledged until it is balls deep in your face

I see the red flags in people, that you do not like to acknowledge or see

Especially if they are someone that is seen dearly

I wish i could be nonchalant in all I do

I wish I didn’t have to watch our surroundings alone

But it‘s my heavy role to do, my assignment if you will

Which I accept willingly even if it makes my heart heavy

That what seems like you can never see

I love you enough to hold my sword and gaze my eyes indefinitely

Knowledge is power and it is an incredible tool

But having so much and expressing my concerns to you

Is starting to make me feel like a babbling fool