Lonely Complacency

In my head we’re still together.

I’m practicing my lies with every man I

meet, so when you come back I’d know

exactly what to say.

I’m exploring my deepest fears so when

you come back I’d know exactly how to

help you.

I’ve fallen in love, so when you come

back I’d know exactly how to love you.

I keep expecting you through that door,

to just walk back into my life like

nothing has ever changed.

Just like before.

We’d just continue our day and pretend

to love one another just to avoid

confrontation.

I’d fall in love with you, when you’d fall

out of love with me.

Then you’d fall in love with me as I fell

out of love with you.

We could never love one another at the

same time.

Time caught up with us, and then

everything was there but nothing.

Nothing to fight for, nothing to ignite

us.

But strangely I’m still here, waiting for

you to come back and fill this void.

This void made up of long days.

While you’re in love with someone else.

You’re never coming back, I know.

Why?

Because, as I wait for you.

I’ve already left the grasp of my own

fists.

So afraid I’d lose myself if I let go.

I realized I’ve never known a more

peaceful place.

Give me a minute to bask in it.

I’d just like to wallow in the wait.