Little Black Book

Teddy stood in his house, all broken and rotten.

It was going to be left, but never forgotten.

If only there was a way to save his family home.

Teddy wished and prayed this, and he wasn’t alone.

Specters from the past made their way through his mind.

Some still too fresh for Teddy to leave them behind.

Teddy looked down at the floor, and saw the holes in his shoes.

He saw his socks and his toes in torn reds and blues.

The floorboards creaked beneath his weight, though he was slender and small.

The house was old and dilapidated, and crumbling at the walls.

The helix staircase swirled above him, like a tornado in its prime.

Teddy was ever so sad, but he had no more tears left to cry.

He breathed a deep breath, and took his first step up the winding path of old.

Each creak that creaked, and crack that cracked shared stories that had never been told.

When Teddy reached the attic, there was a faint familiar smell.

The scent of his father’s aftershave; and Teddy knew this well.

The office was left immaculate, though the house was in disrepair.

Almost as a shrine it was kept. And to move things, Teddy did not dare.

Teddy crept along the dusty rug, like stepping stones from shore to shore.

He was afraid he’d see his father’s ghost, but not seeing him, scared Teddy more.

He brushed his hand on his father’s coat, and felt the leather, cold and worn.

His Mother used to wear this home, and it often helped her mourn.

“Dingle dangle” said the pocket, to the right side of the coat.

“There’s a key in here, you missed it before, it unlocks your father’s notes.”

Excitedly, Teddy dove his hand into the pocket of the coat.

He was hit with a wave of adrenaline to read what his father wrote.

He took the key and turned it in the chest at the far side of the room.

Perhaps his father’s decision might make some sense to him soon.

Inside the chest, lay a single black book with an elastic ribbon around.

Teddy lifted it up in both of his hands, and read the label aloud.

“To my darling boy Ted, when he is old enough to know.”

Teddy's face burned bright red, and it was bright enough to show.

For the last six months, this book lay here, with the key only just to its left.

Could it unlock the secrets he yearned, to understand his father’s death?

Ted pulled the elastic away from the cover, and brushed it to the back.

He wondered if this would shed some light, though it was only little and black.

Teddy’s eyes began to cloud over, as he saw the cursive in the book.

He would recognize that writing anywhere, with its signature scruffy look.

With only a few pages written on, Teddy wanted to savor what he read.

But Teddy found that his heart had taken over, and he wasn’t listening to his head.

He found himself enthralled, as he flicked from page to page.

Though the content was a little mature, for a boy of Teddy’s age.

“My sweet sweet boy, how this saddens me to write.

It hurts to know you’re reading this someday.

Though when you do, you’ll be a man by right,

And your answers will be given in this way.”

“I imagine it’s been a fair few years since I have been and gone.

I hope that you remember me swell.

I hope your Mother and you have loved as one,

And that she has found someone as well.”

“I cannot apologize enough for the pain I've given you,

In ending my life so premature.

So now I will tell you, well and true,

What led me to leave evermore.”

“The doctors said that my sight would leave first,

And I would miss so much through my eyes.

You’d have helped me get through this, if this was the worst,

But they said the sickness would metastasize.”

“Next, my ears would stop working for me,

And I wouldn’t hear your voice.

I was scared to become a stranger you see,

And there was more to contribute to my choice.”

“Without my eyes, and without my ears,

I would survive solely by your touch.

But the doctor said, before the end of the year,

That I'd no longer be feeling much.”

“Perhaps it was selfish of me to end it like this,

But I wanted to go as your Dad.

I want you to smile when you reminisce,

Have memories of good, not bad.”

“I hope you see that I had too much love,

To bear watching you fade any more.

And though it’s not everything, I hope it’s enough,

When you find what I’ve hidden in these floors.”

...What? Teddy thought to himself, as he pressed down on the creaky old boards.

All this time, beneath my feet, a secret from my father in the floor?

“Every day that I knew you, son,

I saved money for you with a bank.

That money still has some income,

Now with your Mother to thank.”

“This money has been yours since the day you were born

And it is yours to spend by right.

Perhaps this old house you can adorn,

To live your very own life.”

“Take care of your Mom, take care of our home,

You are everything important to me.

Know you’re my Son, and that you’re never alone,

And even when blind, I will see.”