Letter to Father

Hola Papá,

La gente siempre me dice- people always tell me that nothing is black and white

You are not bad because you left me or good because animals love you

You are just my dad- Mi Papá

For a long time I felt like you had left an emptiness inside of me

It was so constant it became painful, like white noise

My life was a radio in limbo between stations

I don't hate you, I never did

I still love you, to a fault

You gave me the gift of life and I am grateful for that

I do not have much else to say

I have already spent too much time crying over feelings I knew you would never hear

I do not blame you for my own need to feel validated, that is just part of growing

I want to tell you all the dirtiest, most humiliating experiences I've had because I want you to feel bad

I want you to know that at one point I was so delicate that I needed protecting

But you have a gentle heart, hurting you would only hurt me

Te amo Papá- I love you

I always have

I always will

But don't tell anybody,

It has always been our little secret

Con cariño siempre, -With love always,-

Tu hija -Your daughter-