Let's Talk About Jesus

This is for Mikey's monthly Dollar prompt challenge. Check it out and submit your own entry! <3

Listen - I'm a writer who takes creative liberties,

So I'm not here to piss on anyone's beliefs.

But... can we talk about Jesus?

He's great, he's well known, quite famous, it's fine,

Truly, he is the first real 'socialist' divine!

But why did they paint Jesus white?

And pray tell, do most Christians believe

that he was born in a manger on "Christmas Eve?"

I mean, I know Christmas needed a Christian meaning,

so that Pagans would convert more willingly.

But it's concerning that most Christians genuinely do not know -

Jesus was born more towards the whole "easter" shit show...

And seriously, the misrepresentation of his skin?

Does it change your mind if Jesus is a modern-day Palestinian?

Jesus was born in Bethlehem on the edge of a desert-

Only a few miles from Jerusalem in the land of Judea,

who was the King of Jews, and point to the map if you gotta-

But Jesus was BROWN, and your ancient racism is pinned.

And look at that frame! So weak and thin,

as if he had servants constantly serving him.

Why have you turned Jesus into a frail little stick?

He was a carpenter's son! Those muscles were thick!

Jesus was probably 'sexy,' and he was most likely 'swol,'

That man was not a little twig on a pole!

He lasted 6 hours hanging from nought but 3 pegs,

after beatings, torture, and a spear into his ribs -

He couldn't just hang - he had to push up to breathe.

There's actual science behind the crucifixion scene.

It's meant to be slow and cause respiratory distress.

If they didn't die fast enough, the Romans would break their legs,

so that they could watch as these people quickly suffocate.

It was the Romans' favorite deliberately slow torture hook.

A truly AWFUL way to die, to believe me, you should Google a look.

I assure you, friends, this man did not just "die on the cross."

His ending was nothing but suffering and agony.

I wonder if he regrets accepting his fate?

Looking down on humanity to this day by the Gate,

Listening to Christians use his name to spread lies and hate.

If His story really brings you to genuine tears -

Then you should try to behave like him for more than one month out of the year.