Lamentations of a Lost Traveller

My head feels so heavy

And my eyes too

But none of them feel as weighty

As something I carry in my breast

I don’t understand it

I can’t comprehend it

But it’s there- huge, heavy

And infinitesimally empty

Like a black hole in space

It consumes everything around me

And yet it’s never satisfied.

Little by little, everything becomes nothing

Nothing makes sense, nothing has meaning

Indeed, just as that ancient teacher said:

All is vanity

The clock’s hands keep running

Round and round its tireless face

I watch my life ebb away

Sometimes slowly, sometimes speedily

I try to grasp at a meaning, a substance

But I find myself grasping at shadows

Everything seems to be running away

Melting from my reach, slipping from me

One moment it seems I have a hold

The next I feel like emptiness within emptiness

The sweetness of wine, the solace thereof

Help shield me from angry,

Strong blows of nothingness and vanity.

The euphoria of animal pleasure,

The busyness that work offers

And its ability to make time fly,

All that nature offers, and more,

They try to comfort my weary soul

But even they soon vanish into non existence

As smoke is dispelled into thin air.

And I find myself, alone once more

Struggling with the wind, fighting with shadows

That are far stronger than me.

But all the while, all this time

It seems to me that I hear

A tiny gentle whisper in the wind

So far away, but so close to me

Gently nudging my weary soul

Assuring me of a place, a safe haven

Where I can find substance and meaning

Where my life would not be plain vanity.

Oh, if only the winds would calm a little

And my heart could simmer down and listen

So that I can hear this still small voice

Then maybe, I would finally find my personal Utopia!