Just Getting This Off My Chest

It was over long before it was Over

I just couldn’t stand to rip it out of my chest

Even after my heart began to chill

My life resigned to whatever it was

We were creeping toward

There was no map, no clear path

Only the vague sense of where we wanted to go

A place that I knew, deep down, didn’t exist

I kept taking step after step

kept following you on that winding path

And we walked past that tree that I knew I’d seen before

The branches cutting into my skin

Again and again

I kept following

Kept trusting

Knowing that I shouldn’t

I so often do the things I know I shouldn’t

I used to think that was love

Love is sacrifice, after all

Until I had nothing left

And I looked at what we’d become

Empty husks, cracked and crumbling

Unable to stand

I knew but didn’t want to know

That day at the bus stop

Our eyes on everything but each other

Until we had no choice but to look

And we saw and we couldn’t unsee

By body shook with the knowledge

Of what I was about to do

My fingers curving around the cold handles

Of the sheers that would cut me free

I know you still carry the fiction

That you fought for me

That you stood in my defense

But I saw you

Cowering in the dark when you thought I couldn't see

Quietly breaking me into pieces

Making me believe I was worthless

You wouldn’t fight

Not even for yourself

I hope one day you'll learn how.