Just Another Day Closer To You

I kissed your photograph like a saint,

as I do before I leave each day.

Something crashed over me

like a tidal wave.

Drowning, drowning.

They tell me, ‘This is it, forever,

forever, never

will you see him again,

never hear him laugh

or smell his food,

forever, you will never

feel complete. This is it,’

they are telling me as I drown,

‘this is your life now.’

I rise to the surface

choking on salt and grief.

How can I live a life

where he is not beside me?

It seems my days are ticked

like a to-do list.

How else could I get through this?

How will I get through this?

Another day, another page, another poem.

Another month, another job, another poem.

Another year, another tear, another house, another fear,

another year, another fear, another poem.

Why do I have to live without him?

Twenty-three years

and it feels like a lie.

I feel suffocated by the concept of time

and how one day my years without him

may outweigh those with.

And all I would have with me

are my poems.

They tell me I am young,

that I am not living how I should be.Perhaps my feeling older is my serenity.

‘Not long to go now

until you can find peace.’

I rest on the shore,

with the sand on my feet,

singing a sailor’s song with the sea,

as the salt dances on my cheeks.

When it is my time,

it may have been too late.

But, I did wait.

I did love and create.

I did heal because I did break.

I wished sincerely for this day,

I felt it was close,

then it got washed away.

So, I took another step towards the sea.

The shore where I rest

and I find my peace.

Us, together again,

for eternity.