I’m lying here awake.
It’s midnight. And I am lying here awake.
Not for lack of trying. I just can’t shut it off. My brain. My stupid brain.
It tells me to be scared, to be weak, to be nimble. It tells me I am nothing.
I am nothing.
I am no one.
I have no one.
I bring zero value to this life. I have nothing to offer. Nothing to offer myself or anyone else.
I’m lying here awake.
It’s midnight. And I am lying here awake, wishing I could sink into these sheets and cease to exist.
I know that it tells me lies. My brain. My stupid brain, it lies.
It races and it sends my whole body into panic. It tells me to be scared, to be weak, but it lies.
It’s all a lie.
I know this. Yet, here I am, awake. I’m lying here awake.
It’s midnight. And I am laying here awake listening and believing the lies that it tells me. My brain. My stupid brain and its lies that I believe.
About the Creator
Kelsi Smoak
Stay at home wife & mama navigating life with a sailor’s mouth & permanent messy bun 💙 Working towards finding inner peace, loving myself, and healing from trauma through writing.
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Comments (1)
I know this feeling. Very well written!