"It's Fine" I tell myself

"If we weren't at school, I'd leave hickeys all over you" she'd say

"You can't wear tank tops outside, it's too revealing" she'd say

"Stop sending me pictures, you're making me horny" she'd say

"I just masturbated to you" she'd say

"What would you do if I fingered you" she'd say

"If you wear that Ima finger you in the school bathroom" she'd say

I felt like what she was saying was wrong, 

I really did

 but I just never said anything. 

I was only 14 

but I thought that's what it meant to be loved. 

She didn't even love me. 

I thought that's just how relationships worked 

and that it was fine. 

I thought if I just stayed silent nothing would happen. 

I didn't want her to do the things she'd say 

but I wouldn't tell her that, 

I didn't want to make her mad. 

I didn't want to lose her. 

I thought I loved her, 

but I just loved the feeling of being seen 

and thinking someone loved me.