Internally

“Internally”

The sadness is back with a vengeance,

I’m mentally exhausted, completely obliterated,

I’m not sure how much more I can bare,

The tears keep flowing, an unstoppable force,

I look around at other people, smiles and excitement on their faces,

My blank stare appears to worry them but not enough to care,

I feel empty inside, as if an empty shell,

I talk, walk around; have a pulse,

I am alive but feel completely dead inside,

I wonder quite often what keeps others going,

Their jobs, drugs, families, there must be a secret,

Or is their state of happiness normal; that is actual life,

And it’s me that’s misplaced; I’m broken way…deep…down inside,

I’ve tried everything to push forward,

But still feel completely empty inside…..

Should I stay or should I go,

Would it really make a difference?

This hell; this darkness; appears to follow me through every chapter in my life,

I simply drift through this beautiful life,

Eternally introverted into a dark hole deep in my soul,

Rather than living life and quite honestly; I find that to be the saddest of all……