Infatuation

It’s just an infatuation. There’s no adoration cuz I don’t even know you. No passion cuz I only want what you could never be. As if you could be the answer to my needs. Validation seeks a heavy crown on a pedestal like a shrine. An ornament on my altar. A manic-induced euphoria. A highly eccentric hysteria. Whimsical fantasies, a passing fancy. How long will you stay? How long do I need you for? Until my senses recuperate. Until I reach consciousness again. When my body readjusts to dull reality again. Comatose can be so invigorating. My obsessions are a worthwhile notion. I can pretend I am worthwhile. Not a broken flawed creature. You’re just a temptation. And I am tempted to change everything in order to meet your demands. There’s an itch I must scratch. A seduction, a magnetic allure. There’s a trap set and I took the bait. But this isn’t real. Destiny and fate are fiction. We will never meet. We will never change each other’s lives. We will go our whole lives without intercepting. You will never know I exist. The fables of history will never know how far we could have gone together. An alternative reality might remember our names. This timeline might not be the best one. But this is all we have. In another life, I wouldn’t be so enchanted. Maybe I would already have you. Maybe you would love me too