i feel you///creep
i
n///under.
my skin
where you///end
do I begin
never sure,
is that convenient?
were I just b
y your design
can I break
...free,
will you///keep me
locked i
n///
this cage,
your prison
you///we
drown me
i
n///lies
self-fulfilling
prophecies
worthy of
n...
nothing of
v...
value or goodness
ending. same as
beginning. alone...i
n///the dark
*
burn my eyes from the truth
eye for eye, tooth for tooth
burn my heart from the pain
art for art, stain of shame
brand my soul from control
stolen soul, empty hole
regarding the guarding
her garden i
n///ruins
degrading the radiant
her heart i
n///ruins
suitably subtlety
my weakness, not hers
reckless and loveless
my damage, not hers
*
moments come, moments go
stuck i
n///a loop, to and fro
people live, people die
stuck i
n///a loop, how and why
///We're not infallible, indelible
reaching for something, anything
that matters, to us and them
that makes, life worth living
more than
moments, the to and fro, come and go
*
the curve
of experience
the slant
of life
the bend
of it all
the trend
of it all
for giving
forgiveness
for going
forging ahead
the dulling
from experience
the sullen
from life
the boredom
from it all
the trivial
from it all
for getting
forgotten
for aging
foraging
*
Thanks for reading!
Author's Notes: This originally started at as a number of different pieces I was working on for the Inverse Challenge, but I realised they closely aligned so created this instead. I may still enter the separate pieces for the Inverse challenge though. This does not qualify in its complete form, and that's fine.
About the Creator
Paul Stewart
Award-Winning Writer, Poet, Scottish-Italian, Subversive.
The Accidental Poet - Poetry Collection out now!
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Comments (13)
This is amazing Paul! I read it as a song, the kind that makes people scream the lyrics to emotionally as a kind of therapy. It's so masterfully created, I'm in awe
I feel this, in all the scattered places into which it wanders through all the questions for which I have no have answers. Nicely done, Paul.
This is great. It just reaches out, grabs the reader and pulls them in. I felt like I was inside your thoughts watching your words come to life. What a trip!
I feel these thoughts!!
Spectacular!!! Loving it!!!♥️♥️💕
Hehehehehe I rapped this whole thing! It was so intense and I freaking loved it! You've been missing for quite some time. Hope you're doing well 🍩🥐
This feels like Paul's inferno. It's as though there is a ladder into your consciousness that we are descending into. Fascinating tbh!
I've never read anything like this! The dynamism of the form, the flow of the words -- playful, mysterious, compelling, disturbing. I love how the structure complements the theme of being stuck, imprisoned -- the text visually is struggling to break free. Then that last, verse free-falling like a waterfall ... "the curve / of experience / the slant / of life / the bend / of it all / the trend / of it all ..." streams like a spoken word poem in my mind. So well done and profound!
This combination created a fragmented feeling to the piece that I really enjoyed. Well done, sir!
Everything///okay?🫢
I was thinking how those pave changes gave so much texture to it, but I didn't realise they had ever been completely separate.
That was a wonderful piece of writing.
Paul, I love how you experimented with the poetic form here, and how it generates a stuttering rhythmic quality until the narrator breaks free in a brief and manic torrent. In the end, the poem feels like a process of discovery. The alliteration and assonance of for and from is especially effective as is the experiment of juxtaposing words with similar spelling (more alliteration). Ending with - For getting Forgotten For aging Foraging was especially potent and thought provoking. Great writing as always!