In These Waters

I don't deserve the oil you've spilled into this ocean, intoxicating everything that is pure.

As my heart bleeds in this water, loving you is the choking hazard that surrounds me. Your float is causing me to sink even further, even deeper. I'm waving my arms like a body near death, panting to save the last breath. But the air I'm searching for requires a true source. Stranded, it's silly of me to even search for a rescue team.

As I drown, all I want is you, but then I remember everything we've built..... the frame, the lights, the love and the strength, are all fake.

In the waves though, I can see you swimming to safety. Treading confidently. I've never seen you like this. You told me the sea frightened you, but all I see is you surviving.

You look back at me, and don't even bother to change course. You flicker a look of farewell and I sink even further. I let myself reach the bottom, right below the thickness of the common oils you've wasted. And although surrounded by an ocean full of toxic water, my tears blur my vision the most.

Every moment, we've shared flashes before my brain. All that was said, shared and secret, has fallen victim to what you could not be. And that's honest with me.

You love danger, you revel in destruction. You're a disastrous lover, killing every person in sight. And the ones before, drowned miserably.

As I look around this ocean floor, I see their bodies and I become broken. All along, I'd been reveling in the safety of your arms not paying attention to the times you covered my eyes, so I couldn't see what laid beyond. Beneath me. Below my very feet.

I uncover my tears with my own reality. I'm drowning, and if I die because of you, I'd never save the ones who come after me. What you didn't see coming, was my own clarity. With wonder, I rise to the top because what is fake cannot kill me. What you've tried to pass off as a natural disaster is failing drastically.

Above the water, I'm headed far away to the shore. A place you cannot reach and could never be. Because like the storm you tried to imitate, I've destructed every path you could use to swim to me.