How to Be Successful

Be careful what you wear

and how you style your hair,

but put no effort in,

paint no make up, allow cracks in your skin,

and they'll think you hardly care.

Be social and kind,

know when to let loose and unwind,

but always have your wits about you,

no matter what you do,

never let yourself be dined or wined.

Wear contacts if you can,

no glasses, mousiness is not attractive to a man—

no, no, not saying you need to be attractive,

stop being so sensitive,

just saying it couldn't hurt to have a plan.

You know, climbing the ladder, networking,

proving you're pretty and hardworking,

everyone loves a well-rounded gal,

one who can play the part of employee and pal,

but there is always some give and take when it comes to co-working.

No, I'm not implying anything nefarious,

but getting promoted can be precarious.

Yes of course, keep your head down, work your ass off,

never take vacations or sick days, power through every cough—

just saying it sometimes helps to be a little extra gregarious.

You might receive praise,

and eventually a raise,

but if you really want to break that glass ceiling,

it helps if men find you appealing,

especially if it is a man who dictates who leaves or stays.

Just some food for thought,

whether you heed it or not.

I thought it best to let you know,

as I want to see you blossom and grow.

You're welcome. Now go shoot your shot!