In the Gray

In the Gray

Written by: Aria Isabella Ramey

There once was a girl who entered the gray.

A cold, lifeless, lonely place was the gray.

And there in the gray she was trapped,

Glued, pinned down and set there to stay.

She found no beauty throughout its parts.

Nothing could stitch up her emptiness.

She lay open and exposed.

Waiting for the gray to take her wounds and tear her apart.

She thought it had left her but she still chose to run,

in case it followed her and hid behind the sun.

No one knew of its presence,

she covered it well,

because she knew if she spoke, she’d be destined for hell.

In the gray, Her skin would boil and bruise like it spent eternity in a cell.

So she zipped up her tongue and promised not to tell.

The straps that held her in the gray were ropes that entangled her in its spell,

making a home in the heart it had set to dwell.

In the gray, She wasn’t fast enough.

She knew it would catch up to her,

hit her like the sound of a bell,

pick her up by the feet until they began to swell.

She knew in the gray, it would drag her,

throw her,

spit at her,

abuse her,

steal her by the eyes and accuse her,

grab her by the chin and kiss her,

put its hands around her neck and choke her,

hold her in its embrace and screw her.

She yearned for someone to speak “don't touch her.”

But no one knew,

they weren’t aware.

But it still had its way,

it did,

she swears.

It enslaved her,

engraved her and gave her away.

It never loved nor hated her,

it wanted nothing more but everything to do with her.

So she thought up ways to make sure it never came back.

She looked near and far seeking out a new path.

A path the gray could not find.

A path where she could be free.

A path it wouldn’t be able to hear, hurt, nor see.

It had taken everything away from her,

her dreams, and all her hopes.

They had disappeared completely when she entered the gray.

She thought no one seemed to care.

Thinking no one seemed to listen.

So she held her body as tight as the gray did and made her decision.

She pledged to do whatever it takes.

If she couldn’t find a path,

she would make one in her mind or keep walking straight.

She would set free while it lingered, forced to stay in the gray.

It would have to find another victim to be the pun in its chess game.

She knew it wouldn’t find her here.

It could look but it would never find.

So she pulled her head up and looked towards the sky.

She saw the birds and how they were free and soared up and out.

No thing, not one thing bringing them down.

She could fall in its trap or nearly drown.

Time was running out so she had to make a choice,

running wasn’t an option,

it couldn’t be,

The gray would transform into her thoughts,

find her and break her at the knees.

Crush her legs so that she could not run.

Blow into the hairs of her nostrils and tell her that she’s done.

So she ran to the top and made like the birds till her feet got numb and filled with gray.

She wanted to scream at it,

but she couldn’t find the words to speak,

the thoughts to say.

She was curved, bent over, paralyzed in the gray.

Twisted but not broken.

The curve in her back had made the gray chosen.

Ashamed and bound because she was different, not like the rest.

Her heart beat rapidly as it sat in her chest.

So She took tiny steps approaching the mirror.

Stepping out of the gray’s embrace as if beneath her were floor.

She smiled and walked holding her head high.

Looking the gray in its eyes,

entering a new door.

She spoke to the grey saying “you cannot get me, for I am in the gray no more.”

Unraveling the curve in her back deemed endless,

yet she was destined for a change.

But slowly and surely she began to like it and hoped that it stayed.

Her shoulders shifted to one side,

the collar bones uneven.

Years of living in the gray’s mindsets,

her thoughts began committing treason.

She stood slumped over like a tall bending tree.

She smiled because she knew that the curve was what made her beautiful.

Knowing all too well because that girl with the curve,

taunted by the gray had finally loved her curve and everything in between.

And that girl had escaped the gray,

Yes she did and I know because that girl who found love in her curve was me.