In search of colour, rotating on an axis.

the earth keeps rotating

on its axis.

i’m finding more ways to complain

about the colour, or the lack of colour

swimming around my sobriety.

im in search of colour, borne anew

into a fire, red like the roses i used to buy for you, my lover,

when i needed to apologize

for the arguments

I didn’t remember.

the earth keeps rotating

on its axis,

im finding more reasons to refrain

and retreat

from things that will threaten

this, threaten us

and i know usually, i wear a uniform

of black, of bleakness.

it’s merely a disguise, usually an excuse

to hold back.

i keep rotating on

an axis,

revolving around you

and this idea

that maybe, if i spin long enough

i’ll become dizzy enough to the point

where the colours blur

and you begin

loving me again.

i've taken off the bourbon coloured glasses,

i've taken off the black uniform. i am naked,

hoping, through my search for a new identity,

one of colour

and hope,

that you'll see as i step away from the axis into the stratosphere

i'm trying to become

more beautiful, and peaceful and colourful.