In & Out of Time

How does one keep the balance

of being both in and out of time?

I don't mean out of time like rushing,

not having enough,

I mean existing outside of time.

Being this being of consciousness

that exists in infinity,

the ever-expanding collective,

a state of god-ness,

how do we get used to it all?

How can I be that

and also this?

The ever finite,

"I-can-only-multitask-so-much,"

small, simple me

that exists here in this bodily prison of now.

Only ever now.

Though conceptually a past bodily me,

optimistically a future one.

This is also me.

Neurotic and broken,

entropically destined.

The very opposite of my spirit,

it is my soul grown by the dimension of time.

The piece of me which

only takes form through time,

through experience,

it is the equal yet opposite

balance of the timeless me

who simply is as long as there is

something to witness

and even when that abates

it sees that too.

She's not the one driving the ship

in the here and now (usually),

but she's still here.

I can feel her deep inside me

like a molten ball of lava

pulsing from within my gut,

watching.

I've been trying not to resolve paradoxes,

which is as easy as it is hard.

Perhaps I'm meant to just

let both sides dance.