Imposter

I’m not who you think I am

I’m terrified that you’ll find out that I’ve been lying to you

Could you see through my mask?

I know it’s ragged and cracked,

But it’s all I’ve got to show to you

I pray that you won’t catch on

So I tell you how pretty you are

I crave your warmth and love

But do I deserve it?

Your genuine smile makes me ache

I’m dreaming that you love me

But is it worth it?

“You’re so beautiful, talented,”

“The room lights up when enter”

“You’re unique, one in a million,”

I know your lips are moving

But your words fall on deaf ears

I feel so guilty

Will you know that I don’t believe you?

Every mirror makes me spiral

Anxiety seeps through my bones when you come near me

Even as you hold my hand, I’m oozing

Self doubt through my skin

And when you leave I’m scared to ever do that again

I want to make something with you

I need to get better

You’re my secret lifeline,

You’re my call-a-friend,

But I’m convinced that you don’t care

And I’ll be alone till the end

Please be patient with me

Be sweet to me like you know I’m dying

Please come back to me

Be willing like you know that I don’t mean it

Please love me

Be gentle like you know I’ve triple tied my mask

Please just be patient with me

This is worth it