If I Could Have One Do-Over

A letter to the one that thought they weren’t and couldn’t be loved:

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for always doubting you that you couldn’t be loved.

That no one ever loved or does love you.

Not even at least like you or have the tiniest bit of crush on you.

-- I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for not boosting up your self-esteem when I should’ve. --

You always had these voices inside your head, saying,

“No one likes you.”

“You’re never going to get a boyfriend.”

“You’re just a kid.”

Then you tell me all these things

& tell me you’ll never be loved.

And I ponder and get sad about it,

But immediately, I shrug it off.

Agreeing that you will never be loved.

-- I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for not showing enough empathy. --

Instead of shrugging it off like I did,

You kept those words and phrases bundled up inside your head.

And because of that, you felt sad.

It led you to the point where you never tell anyone how you feel

& what was on your mind.

You shut everyone out.

Including me.

-- I’m sorry.

I’m sorry I should have listened better.

I’m sorry you couldn’t trust me with your feelings. --

But despite shutting everyone out with all of your feelings,

& despite the thought that you knew you weren’t going to be loved,

You loved them instead.

You began to show true colors,

Whereas in the inside, you’d show black and white.

Through loving everyone else,

You realized that

You didn’t need a boy to make you feel loved.

You knew that you were loved by your friends

& your family.

And because of that,

Your heart expanded.

You started to love yourself too.

You started to love all of your imperfections,

Your flaws,

Your being,

Yourself.

And that’s when I began to love you.

I love you.

YOU ARE LOVED.

Finally, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry it took awhile to figure out.

--- Yourself